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2 Steps to Guaranteed Results In Anything

We have Marie Forleo to thank for this one. She is the creator of one of my favorite quotes of all time.

Insight without action is worthless ~ Marie Forleo

 

This is a painful lesson for me right now. It’s something that came up a lot in my Inspired by India series of blog posts from May 2017. I have gathered quite a bit of information over the years. In addition to 2 years of pre med at BU, a 4 year Master’s program and 10 years of working with patients, I am obsessed with reading. If there is a self help book out there, I’ve read it. Sometimes I read 3-4 over the course of a week. All the diets, all the meditations, all the theories – I’ve come across them at one time or another over the years. At the end of the day, self help theories are like religious theories – they all share the same message. Listen to your body, don’t lie to yourself and make consistent changes to have lasting effect. If my Kindle account could talk it would say “Girl, You know this already.. Just DO something about it”.

And.. I would have to agree. All of this information is useless if I am not doing something with it. While in India, I wrote a lot about my hips – where they get stuck, how they hurt and how it’s time to do something. I worked on it a lot there and the work has continued at home. The secret 2 step plan to success is as easy as 1, 2… repeat. Step 1: Gather Information. Step 2: Implement Learned Information. Repeat. Over. and Over. and Over. 

 

I KNOW, for certain, that at least part of the pain, tightness and difficulty in my hips is emotional.

 

I have done all. the. stretching. I’ve been through a month long yoga teacher training in the Costa Rican jungle. I know the moves. My hips don’t budge.. But unlike Shakira’s, they lie. They keep secrets and let me go on living my life not touching upon the hurt that I hid there. So, in an effort to keep what I learned in India rolling and keep Marie’s quote in the forefront of my mind, I started seeing a therapist a few weeks ago. I needed some support to learn how to be really truly honest with myself.

 

I honestly believe that everyone should go through therapy at some point in their lives and have said that for ages. My belief in that wasn’t strong enough to allow ME to do it until now. Insight without action is worthless. The biggest thing running through my mind after these three sessions is that I avoid the ‘difficult’ emotions. One of the biggest lessons in my house growing up was “I once complained that I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet”. I probably internalized this a bit too much and used it as an excuse to avoid pain in my life. Using it as a way to understand that material things are not the most important in life is a beautiful lesson. Unfortunately, I used it as an emotional bypass. I didn’t allow myself to feel anger and sorrow because other people have it worse. It became an excuse. Minimizing my problems meant that I didn’t have to deal with them properly and it taught me to focus on other people’s issues before my own.

 

This is a double edged sword. I love helping people and without this lesson, I don’t know that I would be where I am today.

 

This quote from Tony Robbins sums it up well.

“You have to think about all the things you used to blame him (the lesson) for and you need to blame him much more powerfully, you need to blame him consciously, effectively. Cause if you’re going to blame people for all the shit you better blame them for all the good too. If you’re going to give them credit for everything that’s fucked up then you have to give them credit for everything that’s great. I’m not asking you to stop blaming. I’m saying blame elegantly, blame intelligently, blame effectively, blame at the level of your soul not the level of your fucking head.” ~ Tony Robbins

 

So, the struggle now is to allow space for my own hurt while also holding space for the hurt and pain of others. To allow myself the same generosity that I allow others. I never want to be the person who bitches and complains. What I need to learn is how to simply feel whatever it is I am going through without trying to make it smaller. Step 1: Gather Information has been happening for 15 years. It’s time for more Step 2: Implement Learned Information.

 

I find that this is a struggle for a lot of my patients as well. Does it apply to you too?

 

XO

C

Comments

  1. Sarah

    Yup! Been working on this a lot in the past two years but especially the last 6-12 mos. I’m working on feeling my feelings so that I can release them, to allow myself the same permission I give my patients to slow down, listen and heal. To validate my hurts, and not judge whether or not they qualify as hurts compared to others hurts. It’s not easy. This feels like very, very deeply engrained programming not to do allow, validate or be on-judgemental. It’s feeling like a worthwhile practice so far, I’m going to keep going with it. And I’m very happy to hear that you are doing the same, thank you for being vulnerable and honest enough to share it with us. I’m grateful for you and your voice💝

    1. caitdonovan

      <3

      It is not easy, that is for sure. Qualifying as hurts is the toughest part for me.

      I'm grateful for you too <3

  2. NT

    The struggle is real. Now that I’m paying attention to all the feels, I don’t know how I got this far in life if ignoring them…Glad to know I’m not on this wild ride alone. <3

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